Maybe you've seen Bear Gryll's the wild man of television fame who does some amazing ( crazy? well for us ordinary folks) and death defying trips in exotic locations.
Reading today's column in Sunday Life with interviewer Paul Connolly -What I know about...Women, Bear provides some insight into his marriage to wife Shara and what works well in the research interestingly ( Just look up John Gottman's studies... happy wife, equals happy life).
I think they are worth sharing. In his relationship he talks of the respect for Shara and how she has taught him to listen. He found this hard, as a man wanting to jump in, fix things and correct the problem. ( read everything!)
Paul found another teaching Bear has taken on board is 'that nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care, and she's not interested in living with a "hero". she just wants to know I'm there for her and our sons..She trusts me that the risks I take are managed, that my priority is not conquering some challenge but getting home in one piece.'
Bear's insights are good marriage advice. No point in being right - it's lonely at the top and showing care and empathy is at the heart of healthy relationships.
He sounds like he is living in a 21st century marriage, which offers deeper emotional connection and greater intimacy. He shares his vulnerability with us ' I think I've learnt I'm more fragile than I sometimes imagine, that I'm not as tough and invincible as I'd hoped.' Women really love this side of a man. Here he is a wild man out on his adventures and yet a calm, soothing influence in his relationship.
While he lives life boldly, he makes the commitment to prioritising his family, a great role model for fathers, husbands and sons out there.
So guys challenge yourself today, try listening instead of correcting or problem solving, show you care with empathy and make your relationship the priority in your life. You and your family will reap the rewards.
Not sure how to do this well it can be learnt, get some relationship coaching to fast track a better relationship today.
Cheers Philipa
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